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tue posted: Tue 2018-05-22 05:03:07 tags: n/a
Gottman's largest predictor of marital endurance: positive attention

There was another video that didn't really deliver on its "cure for loneliness" come-on, but its use of the phrase "toxic masculinity" stirred some thoughts. We have a good, concise word that basically means the same thing as "toxic masculinity": machismo. I wish more people would use it as a briefer synonym. So what typifies non-toxic masculinity? Courage and responsibility spring to mind; but those are perfectly admirable feminine traits as well, so there must be something more that differentiates a positive construction of masculinity from an equally positive construction of femininity. Perhaps it's something in my blind spot. I learned to fear and loathe machismo from my father and grandfather's unstable tempers, from their hard-drinking friends' inability to express themselves without ugly angry interjections in practically every breath; from their ugly self-congratulatory circle-jerk opinions of minorities and women; from their values glorifying exploitation and vilifying vulnerability. Children are vulnerable, children have an innate sense of fairness, and it's only by a Stockholm Syndrome process that we adopt and become clients of patriarchal, macho values.

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Castle Age's "Deathmatch" (latest iteration of the seasonal Arena event format, sans the last-minute "eternal vanguard" rank rollout) finished last night. I finished high in 4th ("gladiator") rank, which scored me 4 free loot chest rolls and enough common chaos shards to alchemy a crystal. I promptly alchemied that with the 2 crystals I already had to make a Rare Offensive Crystal Of Fire Fury. The most useful power I got was +98 fire pierce, but it also packs a +1.5% crit chance on monsters and 2% guild coin bonus. Chaos crystals have been out for at least a year now, maybe 2, so will it take 2-4 more years to work my way up to an "epic" crystal?

SMPIX has still not recovered to buy-in share value, but at least it's only around 3% down instead of the 11%+ it was.

Mon: Miss was burned-out on grocery shopping and unhappy about Publix throwing money at political candidates, so Sunday we learned about lead times and lined up a Monday pickup of a trial pickup order from Harris Teeter. I came home for sandwiches for lunch during the day, took the trash out on my way back out.