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sat posted: Sat 2018-05-26 05:18:44 tags: citizenship, career, healing
Thu on the way back from counseling: fueled up at 2.849/gal, 240.8mi/9.627gal = 25.0mpg

Fri eve: long nap after work, watched some Monk over meat-lover u-bake pizza. Updated account records before bed.

ran dishwasher and emptied
Sat: process all the notes
Not sure what I had to say about moustache wax, but I jotted a note about that so there we are.

Thu's counseling session focused mainly on practicing mindfulness to short-circuit negative self-talk and anxiety.

* * *

Who won on my 5/8 primary ballot? My picks, veteran incumbent David Price for NC 4th congressional district, and challenger Allison Dahle for NC House district 11. I only learned at the last minute that we get to vote for a county commissioner for each district, not just our own district of residence. County politics is not super meaningful/important to me. I wanted Hutchinson, Lindy Brown, Susan Evans, James West and Vickie Adamson. What we got was pretty much that except incumbent Matt Calabria instead of Lindy Brown, for whatever that's worth.

* * *

When I found myself wondering "am I due for a break yet", I realized I feel trapped, hopeless and sad. (Low atmospheric pressure may have been playing into that too.) It doesn't characterize the whole experience, but it deserves to be weighed.

I'm eloquent, excruciatingly appropriate, highly-skilled, flexible, detail and accuracy oriented, and just all-around smart; so I deserve the high side of the pay scale for my position title. "Project administrative assistant" sounds pretty nebulous, so let's think about title elements from previous employment, e.g. the QC lab at the factory: "QA Analyst". Put them together and let's think about "account analyst". Glassdoor says 48-50K is within range. That's good, because that's about where we need to be to accomplish our financial goals.

* * *

On 4/27 while reading either "The Tools" or Diamond's "The World Until Yesterday", I was reminded of the etymology of the word "sin". In the OT languages, the word used invokes the idea of a targeteer "missing the mark". Similarly, the word "confess", as we use it, poorly captures the original language idea of "agreeing with". So where Paul entreats us to confess our sins to one another, in the original language the idea is not that we should humiliate and debase ourselves and ask Sky-Daddy's mouthpiece for ritual punishment, but rather simply to acknowledge and agree when a neighbor complains we've fallen short of a promise or expectation. We practice righteousness by making amends; we cannot make amends and repair the relationship if we retreat into rationalizing away or justifying our failures, or disowning them as an immovable, entitled feature that everyone else can either accept or eff off.

In "The World Until Yesterday", the section comparing justice systems (from tribal to state) repeatedly refers to the notion of making [the victim] "whole" (presumably a legal paraphrase of the term "reparation"). This is no more than Christ commanded us: reconcile your differences among yourselves, lest you go before the judge and suffer the state's punishment in addition to reparation.

Diamond also observed a wealth of archeological and oral history data that contradicts Rousseau's proposition that man's natural state is peaceful and cooperative until states evolve to interfere in primitive person-to-person negotiations of justice and trade. In short, all the teabagger libertarians glorifying syndicracy... are misguided at best.

* * *

An appraisal order for a property in Newton NJ crossed my desk during the week and I was reminded of my aunt and uncle's old home on Limecrest Rd. there. Hadn't really thought about it since Google Maps came out, so I briefly, virtually explored and reminisced.