Tomato soup, puff-pastry strips brushed with pesto, and deviled eggs - much better than it sounds.
mon: something (prob neph leaving for work) woke me before 6, up before 6:30
16oz tap-cold water + 1:40 microwave = perfect temp hydro surge. +200mg caf
Empty shwasher
Inventory cellar freezer (check for ground beef especially)
Refill weekly pill minder and protein pods. Missed T and F apparently.
- it's official: minor muscle soreness shouldn't be taken as a sign to skip a workout day.
29g protein bev to wash down creatine, vitamins and phytosterol w/evoo
continue tax prep
lentil bowl w/(overcooked: 3:15m, 1/2c water) steamed carrots, chopped pepperoncini, canned salmon, ciabatta
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Another dry Lent. It's a spiral-curriculum life lesson that I started this personal tradition in the first place in 2014 (maybe 2013?), because drinking was the biggest problem that I had any control over at the time. In retrospect, that was also a subtle indicator of the general state of my self-worth at the time: it wasn't compelling to abstain for myself, so I put it on God.
That first year, even God was not much help. I pretty much gave up mid-season. The next year was much better. A few years since, drinking felt like such a solved non-issue that I didn't specifically abstain because drinking-to-numb-out just wasn't a temptation. Not all the years. Not the past few years, for sure. A rapid series of moves, unstable employment, and the incessantly depraved trash regime.
The AA/NA/GA/SA/etc. community holds as truth that most if not all these various addiction patterns have a fundamental common thread: numbing out the hard feelings that we don't know how to bear any other way. Problems left unsolved tend to grow, we need more A/N/G/S/w.e to not-feel, eventually the ANGS+ gets so big that it's a distinct problem unto itself. The community is just there to point the way and walk alongside as we learn to solve our own problems. Some people do it without ANGS+.Anon, God bless 'em - but for many it's just too much to learn to "recognize the things I cannot change and change the things I can" without an outside sherpa. Probably my own journey has been rockier than it really had to be without making a life connection with the recovery community - but then etching your ANGSt meeting schedule in stone is a kind of rockyness too, so I'm not beating myself up for the rocks I've chosen.
* * *
Many years ago now, I happened across some sober science reporting on the sugar industry's historical funding of slanted studies to downplay the role of sugar in cardiovascular disease, shifting scrutiny to animal fats. The current state of nutrition science, decoupled from industry influence, observes that sugar and animal fats both play significant roles in epidemic cardiovascular disease - but via different mechanisms. Understanding the mechanisms won't mitigate or prevent CVD; one need merely minimize unhealthy food selections.